Post Secret....

I recently purchased The Post Secret books. I have spent the last couple of days reading these books off and on. It is amazing the secrets people have. I find that I am even more amazed at the courage these people have to share their secrets, notwithstanding the anonymity. Take a look. I hope that being able to share with others allows these people to get beyond the fear that they believe is holding them back.

Some one recently commented to me that this blog could make me sound intelligent....today I am afraid to write anything. What if everything I write from now on makes me sound like I am stupid?
And that is where these 2 themes converge. I decided to post my secret; maybe if I put it out there then it will not have such a hold on me.

I am afraid of being thought of as stupid. (Pause for dramatic effect)

Who knows where this fear comes from? Who cares? It is something that has been a problem all of my life. I know that when I speak my words never come out right. I stutter. My thoughts tend jumble when I get excited. I forget the word I want to use. I frequently mispronounce words. I know this doesn’t make me stupid. I know that I have a decent mind. My mother has always told me that I am dyslexic…if I am it is a mild case that I believe I have mostly defeated due to my voracious appetite for the written word. I was surprised by my elder brother recently when he commented that he was glad to realize I was a “deep thinker”. That was high praise to me, especially coming from this particular brother; he is extremely smart. (And no, he was not being condescending or unkind , it was a compliment.)

I know in my head that I am not stupid…Logic tells me so. But there you have it. My fear that I do not tell any one.

(Because everyone already knows that I am afraid of the dark and the things that go bump in the night!)