1 year and counting.....

One year ago today I started my blog. No one else read it at that time; I just wanted a place to pour out the thoughts that would never quiet in my head. I have always had a fear of rejection and abandonment; that once people knew what I actually thought they would run screaming into the night. Lol! I did finally let Steph and The Professor read and now I have a couple of people who check in every now and then. If nothing else now I know what I did over the last year.

So this day has been remembered. Now I am going to bed! G’Night

Quote of the Day:
DON'T WASTE THE PRETTY
(If he won't appreciate it find someone who will)

Saturday night at the church....

The following post is very long. It is not often that I post my feelings on my religion; it is something that I hold close to my heart and feel inadequate trying to explain. But after this weekends meetings I felt the need to write. Feel free to skip reading this one.


The lights in the chapel are dim. The pews are filled with women of all ages; mothers and daughters, grandmothers and friends. There is the dull roar of chatter as these women catch up on what has been happening since they were last together. I arrive a few minutes early with Erin and Boo. The room quiets as the pre-conference presentation starts and we are given a glimpse into the life of our remarkable prophet through a series of photographs. Our presenters tell of their journey around the world following President Hinkley. The pictures are wonderful. But that is not what we are here for. Finally 8 pm comes…. The conference center in Salt Lake is projected onto the screen and we see women in brightly colored blouses singing a hymn. Women’s conference starts. The Theme is 2nd Nephi 1:15 “...and I am encircled about eternally in the arms of His love.” It is not a smooth beginning; Murphy’s Law requires that there be a technical difficulty right in the middle of the second hymn. Though, again, as beautiful as the music is, that is not what we are here for.

Sister Parkin starts to speak and the reason we have all given up our Saturday night has arrived. We are given the opportunity to listen to the Relief Society leaders of our church. This opportunity comes once a year, and every year I am tempted to skip this meeting. Then as I sit in the dark listening to the words of the Lord for the women of his church, I am reminded why I attend. There is something peaceful in the bond that is built between the women of our church. None of us are the same, yet we are all connected by the bond of Relief Society, something I cannot articulate and even if I could I doubt the world would ever understand.

As the conference progresses my thoughts and feelings are unexplainable; they tumble through my head so fast that I cannot get them all down on paper. Some I am able to capture others I reference in my notes so that I might think on them later. One of these is the question posed by Sister Parkin; “How do you feel the Lord’s love in your life?” I would like to answer this question; if for no other reason then to remind myself.

There are so many ways I feel His love, as a matter of fact, many times a day my friends and co-workers will hear me flippantly say, “God loves me.” I do sincerely recognize how blessed I am. One of the greatest blessing the Lord has given me is my ability to find joy in small things. I live in a city which enables me to get around without a car. On a regular day, I get to walk to the metro station. This takes me about twenty-five to thirty minutes. I love the chance I get to walk in the mornings before sunrise or at night as the sun is setting; there is a feeling that is indescribable. I find His love in the beauty that surrounds me at any given time. The sky can be cloudy and a foreboding grey or it can be clear and a crystal blue. There can be rain or snow, humidity or dry air, beautiful sunshine or twinkling starlight. Regardless of weather I am reminded that this world was created for us, His children. The beauty is awe-inspiring. And as I walk I usually listen to music, it varies according to my mood. It doesn’t have to be a hymn for music to touch your heart. Bach, Beethoven, or even the National Anthem can bring a skip to my step just as quickly as a pop or country song. I have not been gifted with the talent of creating music, but I have been given the blessing of enjoying music. I consider this to be an amazing show of the Lord’s love for me. Not everyone can allow music to transport them to another place. Life is not always comfortable and to be able to find peace and solace in music is an amazing blessing.

There are many other ways that I feel the love of the Lord, but already this blog is too long and I feel too vulnerable. Suffice to say, I am blessed with a large, boisterous and complex family, a wonderful group of friends and a firm knowledge of the sacrifice of my Savior. I will be forever grateful to know that I can be encircled in the arms of His love and that He will not leave me.

The Cap'n Mad Dog Flint at your service:

Thanks to Shaka, I now know that "Talk like A Pirate Day" was yesterday! I know I missed it but I had to post this....I mean come on, how many times are you going to find out that I am "part crazy, part mangy, and ALL rabid".

My pirate name is:

Mad Dog Flint

Part crazy, part mangy, all rabid, you're the pirate all the others fear might just snap soon. Like the rock flint, you're hard and sharp. But, also like flint, you're easily chipped, and sparky. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from piratequiz.com.
part of the fidius.org network

Or that I could be THE CAP'N....

Some men are born great, some achieve greatness and some slit the throats of any man that stands between them and the mantle of power. You never met a man you couldn't eviscerate. Not that mindless violence is the only avenue open to you - but why take an avenue when you have complete freeway access? You are the definitive Man of Action. You are James Bond in a blousy shirt and drawstring-fly pants. Your swash was buckled long ago and you have never been so sure of anything in your life as in your ability to bend everyone to your will. You will call anyone out and cut off their head if they show any sign of taking you on or backing down. You cannot be saddled with tedious underlings, but if one of your lieutenants shows an overly developed sense of ambition he may find more suitable accommodations in Davy Jones' locker. That is, of course, IF you notice him. You tend to be self absorbed - a weakness that may keep you from seeing enemies where they are and imagining them where they are not.

What's Yer Inner Pirate?
brought to you by The Official Talk Like A Pirate Web Site. Arrrrr!

The results are in.....

For those that were worried the tests prove......

That I have a Brain!!

Who knew? Lol!

On a more serious note, the tests came back normal.
What ever the issue is, it is not in my brain. So we are back to square one.

Thank you for all of your thoughts and prayers.

Here's hoping that the doctors know where to go from here.

Tribute to Utah

I might never be to keen on moving back home but every so once in a while something comes along that makes me chuckle. Enjoy!

Today I am in a pensive mood.

I would love to just sit on my couch at home, turn on a bit of Jazz or some nice moody Blues music and stare out the window and just let my minds wander. I could even take some time and read a good book. ;) Unfortunately, this is not possible. First, and foremost, because I have to go to work. Secondly, because I am not feeling well so I would probably fall asleep if I were to do this. Bummer!

It seems that this week seems to be one of deep thoughts and music that winds through the soul. It goes well with the grey rainy days that are outside. I hope every one is enjoying it as much as I am.

How much am I worth these days......

I'm always curious.....

My blog is worth $1,693.62.
How much is your blog worth?

If you commonly come to my blog you might have noticed a block that appeared on the bottom of the right column a couple of months ago. I become a part of a tribute to the victims of 9/11. I have thought about today’s blog off and on since July. I have tried to learn about Robert D Pugliese from East Fishkill, NY. I do not know much of this man who lost his life that dark day in September five years ago. He was the assistant Vice President of Marsh and McLennon Companies Inc. I know he had a daughter named Lisa who was in college at the time. That isn’t a whole lot.

So what do I write? Along with everyone else in the country I have been thinking about what I was doing that morning. I was living with my family in Orem, UT. I was working 2 jobs at the time while preparing to leave for my mission. That morning my uncle had been watching the morning news in his room as usual; he came running upstairs to turn on the news for us. I only had a few minutes watch before I had to rush off to my morning job at the MTC. I watched the second plane crash into one of the towers and was in shock. I spent the short drive to work wondering what was going on. At the MTC, rumors were running wild. No one knew what was really happening. There was no TV allowed, no radios, no idea what was really happening. But we heard of missionaries stranded in airports around the country. It was un-nerving and frightening. By 10 am I was heading to my second job. I expected this to be the easier of two. I was temping for a company as an admin assistant. Unfortunately, 2 of our men were in New York, one even on the same block as the Towers. I was finally able to learn more about what was happening. Talk about shock and fear. Who would do something like this? I was soon fielding frantic calls from the two wives. There was nothing we could tell these women. No one knew how to contact our guys. Their phones weren’t working. No one knew where they were. I was more then grateful to pass them on to the VP I was assisting. I don’t remember much of the rest of that day.

So why am I remembering this? What do I find so important about that day five years ago? That day taught me what I valued most in this life. I was itching to get out to the mission field. I wanted to tell people that this life was not the end. I wanted people to know that there is something after this life; that those that lost a loved one that horrible day (or any other day before and since) would have the chance to see them again. I wanted to spend as much time with my family as I could, to make sure they knew I loved them. We had already been through so much as a family; I wanted each member to know that I loved them and would always love them. That day showed me that the most important things in my life can be summed up in 2 things; God and Family. I do not know what I would do with out either one.

My heart and prayers go out to the families of those that did not get to come home that day five years ago.

~Rae~

Finally....someone who will agree with my mother...sort of. ;)

I promise to try to blog this weekend. All of the testing is finally finished. I should have my test results by next Thursday. I'll let y'all know what the neurologist says then.

So to tie you over until I blog here is the latest quiz I was sent from the girls at Team Ten!

If only life were this easy.

The Regency Romance Quiz: What kind of Romance Heroine are you?

My dear girl, you are clearly On the Shelf. You are unmarried and in your mid-twenties. You are intelligent and sensible, but quiet, and consider yourself plain. You have had several Seasons, but never received an offer, or perhaps you refused the offers you received. The reason for this is that you have always loved the man you danced with shortly after you came out at 18. He, of course, never returned your affections, or even knew about them, and is probably courting your sister. Nevertheless, he always seems to like you, and treats you much as he treats his sisters. Your love for him is immediately evident to everyone else, especially his sister, aunt or mother, who think you are the best possible wife for him. This attitude may prove either helpful or difficult, depending on how much the author likes you. When an accident befalls, your calm practicality and ability to stitch up wounds impresses him, and all of a sudden he finds himself noticing the way your smile transforms your face, lighting your eyes and making you quietly beautiful. His interest and appreciation will quickly turn to love, but he will have to spend the rest of the novel trying to convince you that his affection is genuine and not a result of pity.
Take this quiz!

Some days seem to never end.

I'll blog something positive another day. Until then....

Daniel Powter

Working from home.....

So this morning I woke to stage three of the dizziness cycle. (For Clarification: Stage one is dizzy spell, stage two is nausea and stage three is the shakiness). Now depending on the severity of these stages depends on the severity of the dizzy spell. Last night's dizzy spell was pretty bad. So when I woke this morning the shaking was pretty bad too. I was a little worried about trying to walk the 15 minutes to catch the bus so I called in sick to work. Not that that stopped the calls to me. It really didn't bother me; as a matter of fact, it made me feel needed. I finally gave up trying to sleep when I realized I wouldn't fall back asleep. The cicadas outside my window are really loud. I figured if I had to be home I might as well work while I could. Thank heavens I brought home my laptop.

Between my laptop and my cell phone I can do almost everything I need to. I have never worked from home before so this is a new experience for me. I now realize the joy of working in my PJ's. There is just something about knowing that you don't have to shower and get dressed that makes the day nicer. No makeup or even a bra if you don't want! You can crank your music as loud as you want and eat when ever you feel like it. I have spent the afternoon finishing all of my projects. It is really nice.

So here it is 3:20 pm and the shakiness is almost completely gone, down to just a slight jittery feeling. I can't tell you how good that feels to me. I think I might even go for a walk.

(Kristin if you are reading this, I promise it will be a short one and if I get weak I will call for a ride. I promise!)

On an upsetting note...

I go in for my first MRI tomorrow. They are going to check my brain to make sure that there is nothing visibly wrong there. They will also do a test for a rare type of seizures. (Steph could probably explain it more than I can) This morning I thought I was doing well. I really thought that maybe that this was all in my head. Maybe I am causing these things to be happening to me. ( I used to have the same thoughts when I was sick as a missionary) It was driven home to me that this is my current reality when during my yoga class I had a dizzy spell that worried not only my boss but also my yoga instructor.
Maybe I should be taking this more seriously. But why should I if the doctors do not know what is wrong with me? What is the point of getting all worked up over an unknown. I figure, sooner or later we all have to die. It's not like we won't see each other again. And that is the end of my morbid rant. Good night all, I am going to sleep off the nausea from this evenings dizzy spell.

Family

So I went home last week. My brothers mission farewell was Sunday. I flew home Friday night and arrived just after 2 am on Saturday morning. The day was full of interesting
things.

It started with a short walk and a chance to see my big brother Kent's new lawn and his family Garden.

This was followed by a fabulous lunch with Meg, William, and Sarah. Some days the most fun can be had with old friends and a restaurant full of memories.

After lunch I got a chance to watch Lukas play Soccer. My Goose has been playing soccer for almost 2 years now. While I have had a chance to watch a couple of practices, this is my first game. It is also the first game of the season. It rained a nice cold rain for the first half which was followed by a sunny and hot second half. The Hillcrest Hawks (Lukas' Team) won 4-0 I think. I got kind of lost in the middle of the game. I should really pay more attention.


Goose had the largest fan base on the sidelines. But then again with our numbers how could he not.

Dinner was Pizza and Kentucky Fried Chicken on our front lawn. There was lots of laughter and fun. Afterwards I went for Coldstone with Truman and Vanessa. It was nice to meet Trumans Fiance. I am excited for their wedding. It should be great. Vanessa is great. She is sweet and nice, all the things I hope for Truman.

Sunday was full of people and fun. Hugh's talk was great. He really is a talented speaker. Mom and Cynthia set up a fine spread for the Open House. Ian was able to come home a day early, giving me a chance to visit with him.

All in all it was a great chance for me to talk with all of my siblings. Lukas, gave me lots of hugs, and asked that I move back home again. I told him that wasn't possible and we had a talk about him coming out for a visit one of these days. I think it would be fun. Now all I need is our parents permission. Hopefully Paul, James, and Goose can all come for a visit.

I think one of my favorite parts of the trip was the chance to finally meet Sean Micheal Gifford. My first nephew. He was born at the beginning of January and this was my first chance to meet him. I was thrilled to be able to hold him and rock him to sleep.What more fun could you ask for?

The Day Everything Went Wrong.....

*****Warning*****

*****Written Poorly. Read at your own risk. I'm too tired to care*****

The morning started off right. I woke up at 6:30; my roommate had lost her morning alarm so I said I would wake her. After waking her I made a serious error. I got back in bed! It was only for 15 minutes which somehow turned into 50 minutes. (It could have something to do with the repeated late nights and strenuous lifting of the move.) After a hurried prep of 12 minutes we were in the car and on our way to the Metro. I thought I had barely caught my bus, but I was wrong. I could have sworn it said #425, apparently it read #427. Not completely bad, it was just a short walk (about 15 minutes) so I was only about 20 minutes late to work, and then of course I dropped a glass bottle in the kitchen here. A bottle of Perrier that explode upon impact. Of course while cleaning it up I cut myself. It is small but bled enough to leave drops on the floor. It seems it never ends….I kept forgetting the things I needed down stairs so I was up and down the stairs 3 separate times this morning. And then I got pinged by a gentleman that has not talked to me in months. (Good? Bad? ) And now, I was just told by a co-worker that I look like the old Raggedy Anne Doll...”All red curly hair going everywhere” (his exact words). And it is only 11:20 in the morning. It is going to be a long day.

I have to clean my old room tonight to prep for the new girl moving in, I need to finish unpacking, and then make sure I am packed for this weekend. It is going to be a long night.

Is it over yet...........

So today I am covering the front desk for the morning. I figure since I have the time to write I might as well. So here are the updates on my life.

“The Move” Update:
The move has been started. I am moving closer to the metro. Erin and I will live in this house for the next 11 months. It is shaping up to be quite nice for me. I have my own room, my own bathroom, a fully furnished kitchen (which is beautiful) and shorter walk to and from the metro.
I packed completely last night. I even moved a carload of boxes to the new house with Kate’s help. I probably should have planned a bit more carefully when I was choosing what would go to the new house. Necessities should not have gone. But some of them did, and I had to scramble to make sure I could get ready for work this morning. Hopefully the furniture will be moved tonight and I can spend my first night in my new house.

“Health” Update:
The dizzy spells still happen once or twice a day, though they have lessened in severity. I am very grateful, today was my deadline day. It should have been over by now. My doctor will be referring me to a neurologist to find out what is going on. Yay, for more doctors’ appointments. Apparently 4 appointments in 3 weeks are not enough for me.
My emergency visit to the dentist last Friday resulted in a referral to an oral surgeon. I have broken a tooth. After the surgeon I will have to go back to my dentist for some major repair work. Aren’t I excited? Can’t you see me smiling from ear to ear?
As a side note I have never been more grateful for Medical/dental insurance; especially a high deductible medical plan in which my company pays my deductible. There is always a silver lining, right?

Family Update:
My brother Hugh has recovered from his bout of the shingles. He will be entering the Provo MTC in one week from today. This Sunday is his Farewell talk in church. I will be flying in to SLC Sat @ 2 am so that I can attend church with the family. I will then be flying home Sunday night at 11 pm so that I can be at work Monday morning.

All in all…..
I wish it were September.

Hope everyone else is having a better August then I am. This has become the Month from Hell!

"Marian the Librarian, at your service...Shhh"

Apparently everyone realizes that I should be a librarian. Now if only I could get back to school. Some day.....*sigh*

Your Career Personality: Idealistic, Service-Oriented, and Future-Oriented

Your Ideal Careers: Alternative health practitioner Architect Environmental lawyer Librarian Magazine editor Museum curator Novelist Nutritionist Photo journalist Playwright

The Quick and Dirty Career Test

Welcome to the family.............

I know I have not been posting any good stuff recently. The only excuse is I haven't been feeling well. Life now consists of work, visits to the doctor and the dentist (as of yesterday), sleeping and reading. So on to the Farkledunkons....

My younger brothers Paul and James started a chain of emails with my family. One in which we all received a new name. I of course am Goober Farklebreath, is that not a fabulous name. It has been humorous to me to see all of my family respond. I am now giving you the new names of my various siblings. (We are missing many as they have not yet figured out their new name.)

The real names have not been given to protect the innocent. Hee Hee Hee

Enjoy!

The following are the fabulous members of my family...

Sleazy Farkledunkon

Dipsy Farkledunkon

Snickle Farklebreath

Boobie Chickendoodle Farkledunkon (my second favorite)

Sloopy Farkledukon

Boobie Farklebreath Dippintush (My all time favorite!)

Sloopy Chucklefanny Farkledukon +1

(couldn’t have 2 with the exact same name)

Sneezy Chucklefanny

Sleazy Chucklefanny

We are quite the crowd. ;)

Tagged again.......

Here's the latest Tag....

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the next 3 sentences on your LJ/blog along with these instructions.
5. Don’t you dare dig for that "cool" or "intellectual" book in your closet! I know you were thinking about it! Just pick up whatever is closest.
6. Tag five people.
(Steph's Paragraph)

"Finally the girl said, in that same strange tone, "I see deer--a great herd of deer, and a man among them with his body painted--they put the antlers on him--oh, he is down, they will kill him--" Her voice trembled and again Viviane passed her hand above the surface of the water, and the ripples passed over the surface. "Enough," she commanded.

(me)
"He turned to the agent next to him.
"Take four men and search the road and brush. Don't take chances. These are criminals who---What the hell is that?"

I tag...ummm whois left to tag?

The Professor.............Did anyone get Sherpa yet? Tiana?

I am out of names.

Hey T.....Can you send me your blog address again. I lost it. :)

Quote of the evening....

There is just something about live music that seeps into the soul. I live it. I could listen for hours. And tonight I did. It has been a long night, which started and ended with a headache. But even that couldn't overcome the excitement of seeing the Dorothy and her friends follow the Yellow Brick Road on their way to see the Wizard. Tonight I saw the Wizard of Oz on the big screen at The Wolftrap. This was not just any showing of the Wizard of Oz. Tonight they removed the music from the movie and had the National Symphony Orchestra play it live. It was amazing. I loved it.

Though tonight's quote comes from the ride home when Amber got lost in the conversation. No one but those in the car will find it funny, but I told them I would blog it....therefore:

"I thought you said your foot was swollen, now I feel dirty."

Boo, we love you!

Tagged

People keep reminding me that I was tagged. Alright already. Here is my response.....Enjoy

What is your salad dressing of choice?
Italian and Cesear are the fall back dressings, but I like to try just about anything....

What is your favorite fast food restaurant?
I don't have one.....They all have their moments.

What is your favorite sit down restaurant?
The Sushi joint in Vienna where we used to go to lunch.
Hey Steph what is the name of that place?

On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant?
between 20% and 25%.

What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of?
Chicken and Cheese Rice Bake, or Ghetto Chicken Parmesean

Name three foods you detest above all others.
Icky Sauce (sorry Mom), and cooked fish: Halibut and Salmon particularly

What is your favorite dish to order in a Chinese restaurant?
Dumplings

What are your pizza toppings of choice?
Mushrooms, Sausage and Cheese

What do you like to put on your toast?
butter and peach jam

What is your favorite type of gum?
Winterfresh or spearamint

Number of contacts in your cell phone?
133- but 1 is my grandpa who passed away at Christmas time, I haven't the heart to delete it.

Number of contacts in your e-mail address book?
Which email account. I have 3 and only some of the address are in more then one account.
Lets just say there are plenty of contacts.

What is your wallpaper on your computer?
My familys laughing picutre

What is your screensaver on your computer?
Don’t have one

Are there naked pictures saved on your computer?
Only half naked. Sorry

How many land line phones do you have in your house?
0

How many televisions are in your house?
3

What kitchen appliance do you use the most?
microwave...cuz I can't cook

What is the format of the radio station you listen to the most?
my alarm is a country station. Otherwise I listen to my iPod.

What do you consider to be your best physical attribute?
I would have said my hair but I cut it all off. So maybe...my eyes?

Are you right handed or left handed?
Right

Do you like your smile?
Depends on the day

Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
not anything that I can comment on here.

Would you like to?
yet again pleading the 5th

Do you prefer to read when you go to the bathroom?
Of course, what is life with out a book in your hand.

Which of your five senses do you think is keenest?
Not touch, not hearing is off, not sight is horrible, taste is preety good. But I think smell is probably the keenest, especially when I don't feel well.

When was the last time you had a cavity?
Today, Tomorrow, Forever

What is the heaviest item you lift regularly?
Cases of Soda...though Steph says my backpack weighs more then any case of soda.

Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
Not that I can recall

If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
Ignorance is Bliss

If you could change your first name, what would you change it to?
Larrissa...cuz then I would be able to fulfill my fathers dream to be called Larissa the Pissa

How do you express your artistic side?
I don't, it is a scardy-cat

What color do you think you look best in?
Peaches, and the right color blue

How long do you think you could last in a medium security prison?
It would depend upon my "alliances"

Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake?
Please clarify...this could be incriminating

If we weren't bound by society's conventions, do you have a relative you would make a pass at?
Not really

How often do you go to church?
Define Often. Eveyr so Often.

Have you ever saved someone's life?
Not that I know of but who knows.

Has someone ever saved yours?I do believe there was an Incident were a home teacher had to pull a chicken bone out of my throat

Would you walk naked for a half mile down a public street for $100,000?
That’s just one of the many things I would do for that much cash.

Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100?
Do I have to use Tongue?

Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000?
I like all of my fingers personally

Would you never blog again for $50,000?
Depends on my mood when the money was offered

Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000?
When we have sno-cones in Hell

Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
Probably not, I do not like pain. Give me a year or two to work my way up to a whole bottle.
Would you shave your head and get your entire body waxed for $5,000?
Probably, Though I do like the hair on my head.

Would you give up watching television for a year for $25,000?
If I could go to the movies still I would be okay.

Who do you tag?
The Professor, Steph, Gwen