In a little over an hour I am going to bed with the hope that I will sleep for 8 hours...... And then my first day of Grad school shall begin. The last week has flown by. I have met my new ward.... and been assigned a solo part in the Relief Society portion of next weekend's Ward Variety Show. Yeah, I am sure I will survive. My little cottage is almost completely set up. I have just a few boxes of desk items that need unpacked or stored, but I am not sure where I want them just yet. I am thinking of converting my kitchen table to a study area. It is where I end up most of the time these days any way. I went to orientation both for the grad school and for the School of Library and Information Science (SLIS). I have prep'ed and done my readings for tomorrow. There were quite a few of them, but they were interesting. I went biking to acclimate to the area and spoken to quite a few students in the area about biking to school. Unfortunately between the roads here and the drivers who don't pay attention to cyclists, I am not sure how often I will actually bike.
There isn't much more I can do to get ready for tomorrow...except sleep. Sadly, I fear sleeping isn't what my brain wants to do. So here is hoping that the butterflies in my stomach will settle enough for me to get some shut eye before 6 am.
Saturday, August 11
Tonight begins the start of another journey on my own. As I mentioned in my last post, my time in San Antonio ended on Friday and Steph headed home this morning. So tonight is my first official night on my own here in Baton Rouge. Tomorrow, I'll head to my new ward (LDS congregational Sunday meeting) and Monday I will head to the school to turn in some paperwork and try to acclimate. Wednesday I have to report for new student orientation, and the following Monday classes begin.
My thoughts are all jumbled as I sit and try to plan for my immediate future. I am excited yet terrified, eager yet nervous, and ambitious yet homesick. Everything is new here, the culture, language, food, and even the temperature. It is amazingly beautiful here. The trees are massive, and everything is so green. Even with all of that, I feel out of place. I feel a little adrift, floating in this sea of southern strangeness. But the hardest part is reconciling to the fact that the only way to acclimate is one day at a time. The last three years in Utah flew by, and I know three years from now I will look back and feel the same. Yet, sitting here tonight it feels as if that time is forever away. I worry about meeting new people. What if I become a hermit? I worry about my new program. At UVU, I had an idea of what to expect. Here I am completely clueless. I am terrified that I won't be able to keep up with the work. Everyone keeps telling me how hard it will be, which scares me even more. I am not stupid but that doesn't mean I won't struggle in my program. What if I don't like it? I have been working towards this goal for 4 years. What happens if it isn't what I thought it would be? Or what if I am not a good enough student to keep up with the dual masters program? Am I being over confident thinking I can work with both an academic and a professional program at the same time?
Last time I moved like this (all by myself with no connections to the city) I met Boo, Steph, and Gwen within weeks of arriving in the city. 8 months later (7 years ago this weekend), I moved in with a group of girls and met Kate. I got really lucky. I am not sure I can repeat such luck. I am not even sure how it happened the first time.
Well, whatever happens, the journey starts here. Tonight. One step at a time. One day at a time. My books and clothes are unpacked. My bathroom is organized. I will work on my kitchen and bedroom tomorrow and Monday. For now, I am headed to bed.
Tuesday, August 7
This week marks my last week in San Antonio. On Friday, Steph and I will caravan to Baton Rouge, where she will leave me. I will then have 10 days to prepare myself before the official start of classes. The day that I have been working towards for the past 4 years will have arrived.
So what am I doing?
So what am I doing?
- I visited with my brother and his family over the weekend. They will be a long 12 hours away and visiting won't be easy.
- I have started packing things up here. I hadn't realized how much I stuff I have. I know it all fit in my car at one time but good night nurse. Now I have to pack it all up again.
- I am still reading. Some fiction to ease the nerves, as well as some of my textbooks. I want to be ready to jump in on my first day.
- I have plans for lunch with friends that I have made here.
- I plan to hit the Riverwalk before leaving the city but it is August and hot... it might not happen.
And that is about it. I am nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rockers, but there isn't much I can do about it. I have to go about my daily life. I can prepare, but only so much. I don't think I will fail, but it is always a worry with me. Whatever comes, I will handle it. For...it will be alright in the end. If it isn't alright, it isn't the end.