Gone Fishin'

Well maybe not really, but I leave in about 30 minutes to head up to Camp Greentop with the ward. It is one of those retreats to give you time to get to know the other ward members with out the world's influence...so you can find the "eternal companion". There are get to know you games and team building exercises, great food, decent cabins, and showers that sound a little sketchy. It's only for a couple of days, it should be fun. And even if it isn't, I packed 4 books to keep me busy. ;)

Hope y'all have a great Labor Day weekend!!

A trip to the friendly neighborhood dentist…..

Everyone has at least one completely irrational fear, Right? The one you know is completely foolish, but you can’t seem to get over it. No matter how many times you tell yourself that there is no monster in the closet. My irrational fear is the dentist. I know they aren’t evil horrid people who want to hurt you, but that doesn’t stop the churning of my stomach when I set up an appointment. The thought of the long needles that they put in your mouth to numb it can make me gag! I really can’t handle it. Before my mission I had a dentist that gave me valium to take before every appointment, I think that was because once I bit him (I swear it wasn’t intentional). Since then I have decided that I am a “big girl” and I should be able to conquer this fear so I have white-knuckled it through my appointments. Ugh! I did bite a dr. last year, but he wasn’t very nice to me so I don’t feel so bad. :P

I have known for quite some time that I need some major work done. To force me to get the work done I put the needed funds in an FSA (Flex Spending Account). Since the IRS regulates this account, they get to take what ever is not used at the end of the year. I wouldn’t want them to get any more then I have to give, so I knew I would use it. To top it off my teeth have been hurting. Not liking the current dentist I had, I searched for recommendations and was recommended Dr. Planicka by my boss.

Which brings us to yesterday’s appointment. It was scheduled to be a cleaning and evaluation. My boss drove me to the office, I guess I didn’t look to good because she proceeded to come in and sit with me while I filled out my paperwork. Mrs. Planicka (who runs the office) was very nice; she tried to calm my nerves by explaining how nice everyone was and how gentle they would try to be. Lol!

What started as a cleaning turned into an emergency filling to try and save the hurting tooth. After looking at me strangely they kindly let me listen to my iPod during the procedure. Dr Planicka kept patting me on the shoulders telling me to relax and the assistant (hygienist?) kept patting my hands and trying to pry my fingers open to relax them. Lol! It didn’t really work, but I did try to relax. I kept my eyes closed and my music up as loud as possible. 2 hours after I entered the office I was done. Now that I am not in the dentists chair I think wasn’t so bad. It took a couple hours for my nerves to settle, but by the time I was eating my dinner of mush (soft mashed potatoes, cooked carrots and peas, and gravy so I didn’t have to chew on my now sore tooth) I was back to my good ol’ self. Which is great, as I will be seeing a lot of the dentist for the next little while. Starting with my rescheduled cleaning next week, where we will talk over the “plan of action” that they are creating for me.

Deep Breath...even if there are monsters in the closet they don't want to eat me, they just want to fix my teeth!

Tee Hee Hee

Okay I am having too much fun with these....Blue Pyramid has some funny tests and with just 6 questions you can find out fascinating information about yourself.....Might not all be true...but hey, where is the fun in all fact! :)

For now this is what I have learned:

You're France!

Most people think you're snobby, but it's really just that you're better than everyone else. At least you're more loyal to the real language, the fine arts, and the fine wines than anyone else. You aren't worth beans in a fight, unless you're really short, but you're so good at other things that it usually doesn't matter. Some of your finest works were intended to be short-term projects.

AND

You're Texas!

A dyed-in-the-wool cowboy, you believe you have everything bigger and better. While you'll admit that you have more wackos than average and a fair number of gun-toters, you believe in a liberal application of the death penalty to compensate. Despite your tough exterior, you have an even tougher interior, keeping yourself running on a diet of raw beef and crude oil. Unfortunately, most outsiders see you as representative of not only yourself, but everyone around you. You use the word "y'all" in every sentence.

Could some explain that possibility? LOL! At least the Colors of the flags are all the same.

Tuesday at the front desk……

Our receptionist is on vacation. This is her second week gone and I have learned a lot while covering for her. Maybe learned is not the right word. I think I should say that I have remembered a lot while covering for her. This used to be my position, but it is not one I have held in quiet some time.
So I thought I would share some of my “rememberings”

1. We have a pretty amazing receptionist here at my office; it takes 3 people to cover for her when she is gone.
2. Salesmen who psycho-dial asking for someone different each time will continue to get put through to voicemail boxes. We aren’t stupid, we will remember what your voice sounds like.
3. We would probably have connected you to your “friend” if you knew A - the person’s gender OR B - how to pronounce their name.
4. Being rude to a receptionist is a sure way to find that your call gets lost in the land of permanent hold.
5. Looking busy, while not actually busy takes talent (Hence this blog is being typed in Word to be transferred to Blogger when no one is around)

In other news, I finished The Dark Materials Trilogy by Philip Pullman. Pullman is a fabulous writer, his characters are quite realistic and the storyline was very intriguing, with the exception of the plot going against my personal religious beliefs. It didn’t really affect me until the 3rd book (The Amber Spyglass), and there it was very prevalent. I must admit that by the end of the trilogy it disturbed me. I chalk it up to the writing talent of Mr Pullman, whose characters were so complex and realistic. I probably won’t purchase these books for my shelves. While I admit that they are very well written I doubt these are ones that I will read again.

And finally, the boys are back in town! Ralph is here again and so is Neil-son, our brother from another mother. The three of us are meeting to go to Marrakesh tonight for real Moroccan food. If you would like to join us give me a buzz and I’ll up the number on the reservation! The more the merrier!!

I know it has been a while since I have written, sorry about that. I have been:

• tired
• not feeling well
• reading

maybe I should try this one, as this is who they say I am. Lol!

You're The Mists of Avalon!

by Marion Zimmer Bradley

You're obsessed with Camelot in all its forms, from Arthurian legend to the Kennedy administration. Your favorite movie from childhood was "The Sword in the Stone". But more than tales of wizardry and Cuban missiles, you've focused on women. You know that they truly hold all the power. You always wished you could meet Jackie Kennedy.

Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

The Weekend Recap

I had a pretty low key weekend. Friday night was a birthday party with some great sushi followed by The Diary of a Mad Black Woman with Gina and Lauren. Gina and I have been aching to re-watch the Tyler Perry movies. They finally arrived via blockbuster.com and we immediately sat to watch the first in the set. I have written about these movies in the past. I love then even though they are not something that I can connect on a literal level. I have never experienced the things that these movies portray. But the stories involved create an immediate empathetic response in me. Every woman wants to believe and have hope in the possibilities. That there are men who will give a woman intimacy rather then sex; who will miss us when we are not there and want to see us happy and smiling; who is not perfect himself and doesn’t expect perfection from us. One who is willing to work towards perfection together. I am looking forward re–watching Madea’s Family Reunion tonight. It is to be our own private family home evening.

I have also finally finished the Harry Potter Series and have moved on to my next choice. In review, with no spoilers, I found the final book to be intriguing. I had to reread the entire series to make sure my memory was accurate. I still think book 5 is my least favorite (I can’t handle Delores Umbridge…ugh!). Book 6 and book 7 made me cry, as was expected. The similarity of the reign of Voldamort and the reign of Hitler was rather pronounced in book 7. The Muggle restrictions, trials, and torture brought to mind my studies of the Holocaust. I thoroughly enjoyed it and am glad that I know own all 7. When I have time I will probably read them again.

For now I have moved onto The Dark Materials Trilogy by Philip Pullman. Book 1 is The Golden Compass. My friend Ben suggested the trilogy and loaned me all 3 books. So far I am intrigued. I shall be interested in how they make the movie this winter.

Other then reading and movies, I slept a lot, talked with roommates, and just plain lazed around. It was a good weekend. Lol! I certainly enjoyed it, even if I feel I should have been a bit more active.

Have you met yourself?

My good friend Kate says this to me all of the time. Most recently was this weekend when I had yet again lost my phone charger. Yes, the new one I had just purchased was some how misplaced. For the life of me I couldn’t remember where I had put it, causing a late night search of my office and a midnight search of my room. I had figured at some point I would lose my phone charger; I lose things all of the time. I just didn’t expect it to be in the first couple of days of owning the new phone. This line of thinking was what prompted Kate’s latest “have you met yourself” comment.

So I am introducing myself to all of those things that I refuse to believe to be true…lol!

1. I am not organized. I believe I am, honestly, in my head I think I am a very organized person. But if you were to ask any one of my girlfriends they would say I have no organizational skills. If I could just remember where I put everything then I wouldn't need to be organized but....
   
2. I have no memory. I am lucky if I remember something you said 15 minutes later. This is why I try to write things down or have people email me; otherwise, I forget. I forget words all of the time. It doesn’t matter if I have used it a million times before, or if I can define it. I'll be in the middle of a sentence and sometimes the word will just be gone and I will have to figure out a way to reword the whole sentence. If this happened every once in a while I would be fine. But we are talking once or twice an hour these days. Lol! I feel as if I have to relearn my entire vocabulary. Grr...
   
3. I am a drama queen. I never think I am and I don’t think that the drama is usually about me. But there is always some sort of drama in my general vicinity. Either family or friend drama. Maybe I am some sort of magnet for it, or maybe I am always making things worse then they should be…Hmmm.
4. I can’t multi task. I say that I can and most of the time I really believe that I can. But in reality, I can only multi task if I am not paying attention to details. It used to be that I could read and talk to people or listen to music all at the same time. Now I find that if I really want to read or talk or do any other task I have to have to be able to focus entirely on what I am doing.
5. I am not a good listener. As a matter of fact I am a horrible one. My eyes can glaze over during a conversation and it isn’t that I am not interested in you or what you are saying it is that I can only focus for so long before my mind jumps to 3 other topics. It is especially hard when I am on the phone. If I can’t see you I can’t focus solely on you and therefore I start focusing on other things…causing me to lose the thread of the conversation…because I can’t multi task! Lol!
6. I get lost easily. Oh gol! No matter how many times I tell my self that I will pick it up, I can’t seem to find my way around. I know the major places I have been and can get to and from pretty easily but other then that I am completely lost. And heaven knows where North is. I used to say that it was just this area. I mean I could get around Utah pretty well, but really that was only Orem and Provo and that was because I had lived there for so long I had pretty much been lost every where. Thank heavens for maps!
7. I am shy. This is hard for many people to swallow. But it is true; I just force myself to act like it isn’t. As my dad says, I spend a lot of effort trying to get out in front of my shyness, so it seems as if I am not. Inside though I am extremely shy and sensitive. I will obsess about conversations for hours after they happen: Did I say the right thing? Maybe I sounded silly…maybe I shouldn’t have said…. Etc. I will obsess about people’s reactions: Maybe they really don’t want to be my friend or maybe I annoy them, maybe they would rather be elsewhere. I don’t want to force anyone to be my friend etc. And before going out in the evening I almost always come up against the question: Do I have to go to another party? I would rather sit home with my book. Sometimes I can forget. When I make good friends, the ones that I know I could say anything to, then I can be myself, and not just the part of me I think that person would want to see. But that is pretty rare. For the most part I play the character that fits with the setting I am in.

And that my friends is the me I am trying to overcome. Some things are possible to change. The organization and the listening skills I am working on. I don't think the shyness will ever go away completely nor will the problems with my memory. But you change what you can and you live with what you can't, right?

The Universe.....

This is what the universe had to say today.....

You know, Rachel, I once had a dream that didn't come true. I know how that is. Ouch!! Painful!! Humiliating!!

Until I realized, it wasn't too late to dream something better.

It's never too late, Rachel -
The Universe

Interestingly, enough I have recently let go of the dream of the trip to Europe next month. I haven't quite decided what to use the plane tickets for. There has been talk of visiting Tiana in Texas, Sarah and I going to New York for New Years Eve, or even a trip to Florida or California, or any of the other places I haven't ever been too. Maybe i will take up Steph's example, take my camera and at rip to Maine all by myself. Sounds nice, no? But the dream of Europe has been put on hold until I can afford it. So now it is on to dreaming something better. ;)

Everyone has a secret....

It has been almost a year since I last posted about Post Secret.

I still frequently check in on this website and currently own 2 of the 3 books. I am continuously amazed at the secrets that people keep. While some secrets are fun and happy; more often then not, the secrets contain a sadness and despair that makes me wish I could help in someway. I have been surprised more then once to read my secrets on this website. Not that I have ever sent in a postcard but I have found that some of my darkest fears are shared by others. I am not alone. It gives one a feeling of hope, that maybe the fears can be overcome. That maybe these people can be helped and find a reason not to give in to the overwhelming sense of hopelessness that can befall them.

A Night Without Technology…..

I have taken to leaving my computer at work during the week. The less I have to haul to and from the gym the better, IMHO. It is nice to be able to sit at chat with the roommates, talk to a friend on the phone, or just read a book in the evenings as opposed to logging on the internet and losing myself for hours.

Last night my boss offered me a ride home, allowing me to get home early. In the excitement I grabbed my keys and bag locked my office and left. I was to spend the most of the evening cleaning; there were a few calls I wanted to make, and I was looking forward to finishing Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets so I didn’t think it to double check that I had everything I would need. I mean I don't take my laptop home, so what else could I need? Halfway home I had realized that my phone was still sitting on my desk. *GASP* I had no access to technology!

I don’t consider myself addicted to my phone. Yes, it goes everywhere with me, mostly because I stopped wearing a watch and my phone now plays that role too. But as the night wore on, I came to understand that I am dependent upon my phone. Lol! I had no watch whatsoever and so I had to keep searching for a clock in my house. Lol! I couldn’t text, or call anyone…I can't even count how many times I wanted to and couldn’t. Even if I could have had access to a phone it would have done me no good; all of my phone numbers are stored in my phone. Lol! I couldn’t even use my laptop to contact people because it was as work. I had no access to the outside world…AAGGHHH!

I survived the night only to arrive at work to find that the charger port on my phone has stopped working and I couldn’t recharge the now dead battery. Lol! It was easily fixed with a quick stop at the T-Mobile kiosk in the closest mall. I am now on my way with a new phone and while there were no panic attacks or anything else that drastic, I never want to do that again. Lol!

Heart on my sleeve and falling for the wrong guy.......

Ironic...my mother said the same thing when we first saw this movie. lol!

Take the Quiz here!

And yet I test here as:

Harry Potter Personality Quiz by Pirate Monkeys Inc.


How does that work...anyone else think they are alike?

10 Years……

I can’t believe that it has gone by so quickly. My best friend Meg sent me the web link for our high school reunion months ago. I, of course, checked it out and firmly decided not to return for this reunion. I knew that I would have had a trip home for Tiana’s wedding and therefore couldn’t justify 2 trips in 4 weeks. While I won’t say my singleton status didn’t effect my decision, I will say that it only played a small part in the decision. This reunion is geared to children and couples. Most of my former classmates have married and bred multiple times and therefore require an activity that can entertain small children. OHS class of ’97 decided to have a picnic at a park during the day (advertised for its abilities to “show off the kiddies”) and then a dinner the next night for the couples.

Even though I decided not to attend I have visited the site off and on over the past couple of months. I wanted to see who I could find. There were links to various pages on MySpace, Facebook, and others which allowed me to check out what some of my classmates have been up too the last 10 years. It is fun to read about the new families, jobs, and schools. I had forgotten so much of those years but it seems as if some things never change. I laugh while I read of their lives and realize now that it might have been nice to keep in touch. I almost wish I were going back. Lol! Almost.

Meg will be attending; she will definitely share all of the juicy details. I can hardly wait until next week to gossip about it all.