What I want....

Tonight was my weekly institute class. Kate and I have decided to take the classes for the over 30 crowd, as they are having various bishops teach The Lectures on Faith from the School for the Prophets.

Sidebar for those readers that aren’t LDS:

• Institute is an LDS adult religion class mid week.
• Bishops are the local leaders of the congregations.
• The Lectures on faith are collected theological lessons used in the School for the Prophets
• The School for the Prophets was a gathering of various leaders in the early days of the LDS Church for secular and spiritual learning.

Now back to my thoughts….

The crowd that attends this class is always interesting and there are quite a few nuggets of knowledge that I take away from every class. Today, the bishop who taught said something that really made me think. (Paraphrasing): We should only do those things that we want to do. The trouble is that we should want to do what God wants for us.

I have thought about this all night. Many a times in my life I have wanted to do things that I know are contrary to what I have been taught is the will of God. Many times I have given in and done them anyway. Happiness never follows, as a matter of fact; unhappiness is usually nipping at the heels of these choices. On the flip side, there have been things I have wanted to do that which I know is in line with what God wants for me and I have not done it. Afterwards I am almost always angry with myself for my own laziness. So given the experiences I have had and the things I have been taught, why do I continually want to do those things that I know are contrary to God’s will? How do I make all of my wants coincide with what He wants for me?

I know the basic rote answers and for the most part I try to live those. I go to church, read my scriptures, and say my prayers. Granted I don’t do these things as often as I should and I have noticed that it doesn’t seem to be enough. I need to get back to where I was years ago, when I was burning with the fire of my testimony. I miss being like that therefore I am working my way back towards that; starting with the Lectures on Faith.