Happy Independence Day!!

Let Freedom Ring!

I hope every one got to enjoy some Fireworks.

Congrats to my big brother Kent and his wife Cynthia, the newest addition to the Hinkson Clan will arrive in December! Yeah.

Grr....

Three times in one day, I must be in a talkative mood.......

I read something today and got my feelings hurt. Now I know I am being a girl and the remark was not directed at me but still it hurt my feeling.

A friend of mine stated that most girls tend to "fan out to hunt for different prey.." once their guy friends start relationships. This saddened me as I would never want my relationships to be viewed this way. If I based all of my friendships on the possibility of matrimony I would be not only an old maid but a lonely unhappy one.

He was unhappy with the prospect that most women tend to disappear… and I happen to agree with this, especially when men get married. I want to state though that most new couples fade out of our singles scene for the first year of marriage. I do not know if this is a conscious choice or not. I call this settling into married life. There is the Honeymoon period, the period where they realize life is not a honeymoon, and then the stage where they learn to handle the rest of life (I believe this one actually never ends). Other friends are not involved in these stages. Singletons recognize this and usually prep themselves for the separation. If we are lucky, after about a year, we will be able to have some sort of friendship when the couple wakes up to the rest of the world. Unfortunately, more often than not, the separation is permanent. This is sad to us, we tuck our fond memories away to be brought out in later years when the urge “to call them like we used to” comes.

And now I will step down from my soap box. That’s All.

CONGRATULATIONS!

I forgot....

Congrats to my younger brother who is getting married in the Lubbock Texas Temple(LDS) on November 3, 2006. Good luck kid! I wish you and your Marian the librarian [or Vanessa if that is what she prefers to be called;) ] all the best.

Battle....

Have you ever seen the movie Michael? You know the one with John Travolta as Michael the Archangel. Today I had a vision of John Travolta standing in a field preparing to “battle” a bull. I had the urge to do a little “battle” myself. Unfortunately it was me against a machine. A massive copy machine that is roughly the size of about 6 twin bed mattresses stacked on top of one another.

I was given a simple assignment today that turned in to an all out war. I needed to make copies of a document. A 113 page (one-sided) document needed to become a 57 page (double sided) document. Then I needed to make 85 stapled copies of said 57 page document. How difficult can it be? The beast that lives in the mail room should have been able to do it all in one fell swoop. Right? Right!

Well it started off well…copy was changed to double sided and things were progressing. Okay, okay we hit a little snag when it only stapled every other copy but I dealt with that I brought in my own stapler to staple the copies myself. Minor skirmishes along the way but nothing that I could not overcome. The real trouble began after about 50 copies; things started to jam in the machine. No problem. I cleared the jams and started over. I have to give this battle to the machine, it ate only about 4 copies that I had to then shred. I only had just over 35 copies left. I was calm. It has only taken me 2 hours so far. After the final jam….it would not clear. I checked everything. I was only at 60 copies and my patience was wearing a little thin. The mail room was hot, the machine was loud and I was bored, I had to stand by this beast because I could not leave confidential documents unattended. The desire to kick this monster was getting stronger. Finally I shut off the machine and started it again. This seemed to work. I got a whopping 13 copies before the final battle started. All of a sudden it started mixing up my pages. The feeder was all messed up. Pages were getting bent; things were getting out of order. The first time I calmly reordered the pages and started again. The second time I made a copy of each specific page that was bent, one at a time, so that it would not get stuck in the feeder, reorder the pages and started again. But the third time the papers exploded out of the machine. Literally; everything is out of order and a mess. I wanted to lower my head and charge it just like Michael in the movie. But before I lost my temper with an inanimate object I waved the flag of truce. I am ashamed to admit that the machine won. I will finish my last 13 copies on Monday when it is a slightly less temperamental mood. Hopefully the weekend will give it time to cool off and not hate me. J

For all those that are wondering....

.....The isolated thunder showers are not supposed to start again until 10 pm, until then it will be partly cloudy with a high of 85. Soak it up while it lasts.


I have not mentioned the rain on my blog at all. Yes there has been lots of it. Yes I am still safe. I do not mention it because I am in the minority out here. I LOVE IT! This rain, which is causing the flooding of other people's basements, power outages, road closures, cancellation of flights and all of the other turmoil out here has got me excited. I have listened to it beat upon my roof and windows. I have watched the lightening while sitting on my porch. I have gone for walks in the rain, and I have even spent 5 minutes puddle jumping (unfortunately it was all by myself since no one else wanted to play with me, stuffy ol' adults!)

But for today at least the sun is shining and the humidity seems less. I know this makes quite a few of my friends happy. Actually, I am happy also. I like the sunny weather as well. Really I just love all weather. There is something about nature that gets me excited. Thunder storms, Snow, Sunny summer days, Humidity, I love all of it. It’s just another reason why I love living here.

So for today I will enjoy the sun while it lasts. But I will also enjoy the rain that is supposed to return tomorrow. ;)

Quiet

Those that come from large chaotic families might understand the need for solitude. Today was such a day. I was reminded of long ago Saturdays in my parents’ house. Every so often I would want to go where no one could find me. Just to be alone. In a house of 14 people, there was always noise and chaos and something that needed done. But there was a walk-in closet on the second floor; it housed the furnace, the wrapping supplies, some luggage, some bedding, and the clothes of whoever was using the room at the time. I would take a book or two and climb behind the clothes. The excess bedding made quite a comfortable seat and I would travel to what ever world I wanted. As teenager I lingered over the world of Anne of Green Gables, Emily of New Moon, and others. I escaped my chaotic world as I read of romances in England, the horrors of Hitler and the Holocaust, daring Mormon Pioneers, brave soldiers of the Revolutionary and Civil wars, and their even braver mothers and wives they left at home to worry and pray while they fought.

Today, I did nothing important, nothing but read. I read nothing important; nothing to “expand my mind”; just simple tales. Some I have even read before. And yet, I am a little embarrassed to say, it has been one of my favorite days.

My Favorite Moment at the Ball game.....

So there we were watching our beloved Nats get their butts kicked by the Yankees in the 5th Inning..... 9-2 . Sad I know. There was a beautiful Grand Slam by a Yankees player that was just amazing. But I digress..... Anyway back to our poor Nationals...While we were watching, sitting in an area heavily populated by Yankee fans my roommate Kate pointed out what have become my 2 favorite fans.




How Many times have you gone to a game (of any sport) and been undecided which team you like better. Who do you choose to support? How to make such a decision? Why not support Both. That is what this father and son duo did!!
I even had to borrow Gwen's camera because I found it so humorous.

As and FYI..the Nats came back in the 8th and the 9th we won 11-9. WAHOO!!

June 4th....

So life has been a bit busy as of late....so you are getting a Meme I found....here:

1. Go to www.wikipedia.org.

2. In the Search box at the bottom of the screen, type your birth month and day (but not year).

(My birthday is June 4th.)

List 3 events that happened on your birthday.

1. 780 BC - The first historic solar eclipse is recorded in China
2. 1919 - The U.S. Congress approves the 19th Amendment to the United States Constitution, which would guarantee suffrage to women, and sends it on for ratification by the states.
3. 1989 - The Tiananmen Square protests are suppressed in Beijing and are covered live on television.

List two important birthdays.

1. 1928 - Dr. Ruth Westheimer, German-American sex therapist and author
2. 1975 - Angelina Jolie, American actress

List one interesting death.

1. 1798 - Giacomo Casanova, Italian lover and writer (b. 1725)

List one holiday or observance (if any).

1. International Innocent Child Abuse Victim Day.

Feel free to TAG yourself :)

The weekend.....

Do you ever wonder why we are so eager for the weekend, when you are just as busy if not more so on the weekend. Last night I went to see the movie Prairie Home Companion. I liked it. Kate and I thought parts of it were very funny. I must admit to being contemplative afterwards, as it is all about endings, I spent some time pondering past endings. But that is not a topic to be written about here or now.

This morning I was up bright and early (after sleeping through my alarm) to attend a Time Out for Women Conference. This is something put on by Seri Dew and Deseret Book. I understand the dislike many have for such events. I must admit to having the same sort of feelings about them myself. Especially last night when I realized I would be getting only 3 hours of sleep, or this morning as I was rushing about getting ready in 5 minutes, or even as I was dealing with some of the women at the conference( though, I refuse to believe that Mormon women are animals, as one women suggested today). But then something happened, I remembered why I volunteer for these things. I love the opportunity to be surrounded by amazing people. And the women of the LDS church are pretty darn amazing. There is something about the spirit that they carry. It was not hard to smile at chat to the ladies that were waiting in line to enter the conference center. It was even fun to answer questions and hand out free gifts. I complained repeatedly before attending this event. I believe, I even made fun of it but as I was there and even after when I was helping pack up, I could not complain. As a matter of fact, I would be glad to attend another one, it was a fun time.

Sidebar: I feel obligated to state that I am always amazed at the amount of pregnant women or women with babies under 3 months that attend these events. No wonder the world thinks we are baby making machines, at least 65% of the women gathered today fell in one of those 2 categories.

There were a couple of times when I was really in my element today. Though I must say my favorite moment was a discussion of restaurants at the end. There was a group of about 6 ladies that approached me. They were East coasters that had moved to Utah. Now that the conference was over they wanted to go to a restaurant. One knew their way around but no longer knew what restaurants were here. I of course directed them to Tyson’s (cuz that is where I know) and then came the task of finding a place that would meet the approval of all 6. It only took about 10 minutes, but was a puzzle I could sink my teeth into. The pregnant one couldn’t handle Chinese, 2 didn’t like Italian, 3 really wanted ethnic, all worried about price and were determined that they didn’t want to have to drive to far, one was apathetic about cuisine but was picky on service, and 2 described themselves as “food snobs”. After a discussion of various restaurants and service etc, I sent them on their way to The Lebanese Taverna, not my first choice, but not bad either. It was fun. There were many moments like that. Yet again why I sign up for these things, after 11 hours, I am finally home and completely exhausted. But I met some amazing people, had a lot of fun, and am at peace with myself. What other event can leave you saying that?

Now if I could just find a job where I was an executive assistant to an event planner, I would have one of the coolest jobs ever.

providing help in all aspects of your life......

Amusing moment in the life of HR:

I called our Aetna Members 800 number yesterday. It is the number that we have printed on all of our paperwork and forms. A number that we have posted to websites and our internal filebank.

So my call went like this:

Dial....

Ring.....

"To talk to people just like you in your local area, please press 1."

Confusion.....

Disconnect....

Redial....

Ring.....

"To talk and meet people just like you in your local area, please press 1."

Confusion.....

Disconnect....

Redial....

After the third try I realize this is really what is written here, I didn't miss dial, there was no mistake other then we have given out the wrong number.

Our new HR motto: "We are here to help all aspects of your work/life."

***Note: the corrections were also made. We no longer send our employees to a singles line when they need insurance assistance***

Lost or Not….

So I had a momentous occasion yesterday evening. I was walking home from the metro, this takes about 30 minutes. I love to walk especially when I a by myself, I always to listen to music via my fabulous iPod. Usually I am also either reading a book or talking on the phone. Yesterday was no exception. I had my headphones on and was just getting into my book “The Know-It-All” when I looked up to cross an entrance to a parking lot. Stopped directly in front of me was a white mini van full of people. They asked me for direction to either 95 or 495.
Now for a little background on me, I have lived here for a year and a half. Directions and I are not friends in any way shape or form. I have even gotten lost multiple times less then a mile from my office. I love to walk mostly because if I walk long enough I can find a familiar area and suddenly I am not lost any more.

To be stopped on the corner of Haycock and Westmoreland and asked for directions to a freeway I have never driven was a little daunting. But after a second or two I realized I knew how to get them there. I even remembered the street names. I gave them directions. They made me repeat it a couple of times to be sure they understood before driving away. I felt very triumphant. I gave directions, and not to some touristy place on the mall, where the directions include walk past the Washington monument and the reflecting pool. I gave real directions. The urge to do a victory dance was very strong. I am thankful that I was wearing a backpack otherwise the evening rush hour would have gotten a view of my jumping up and down like a fool. I know how to get around. Maybe not perfectly but hey I can get you to a major road!!

I GAVE DIRECTIONS!!

WAHOO!!!

The fear that I had sent them to the wrong place didn’t set in until about a block later. At that point I had to make phone calls to verify the directions I had given. Just in case you were wondering, they were good instructions.

So, a moment of silence, please, for the death of a very small part of my ignorance and then break out the flat cherry coke. It’s time to celebrate. This is finally home!!

600 years ago.....

Well I have always wondered who I would have been were I to live in the 1400's. Okay maybe not but it was an interesting test, none the less. And you all are stuck with the results.....

The Paladin You scored 10% Cardinal, 46% Monk, 58% Lady, and 54% Knight!

You are highly moral but also don't shy away from using force if your lord commands it. You are honourable to the point that you would readily sacrifice yourself for a noble cause. Your name will be the subject of tales and song for generations, however their concentration will be less on your deeds in life as on your martyrdom. You scored high as both the Knight and the Lady. You can try again to get a more precise description of the Knight or the Lady, or you can be happy that you're an individual.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 4% on Cardinal You scored higher than 43% on Monk You scored higher than 76% on Lady You scored higher than 87% on Knight

Ironically enough I would have been the same type of person, one that is a mix of everything. Good to know that regardless of the era I am still me! :)

Learning is a slow process

Well I have been 27 for 2 whole days.

I have learned two things:

1)Adding another candle to the birthday peach cobbler (thank you Cali) doesn’t mean added wisdom.

2) Concentrating and focusing on work after a ten day vacation to the beach is nigh unto impossible.

That is all.

Happy Birthday to......

ME!

It is official. As of 20 minutes ago I am another year older.

Do I feel any different?

I am not sure........

Give me 24 hours to try on this new year and I will report back. ;)

The Beach.......

I am home. I’m sitting in my room, missing the sounds of waves and the feel of moisture in the air.

The beach was fabulous. There are many moments that I have been replaying in my head. Steph and I drove down Friday morning. Once on island we just drove around, the air feels different. There is a weight to it, I love humidity. Unfortunately, short my short hair is not as big of a fan as I am. But I was at the beach so what do I care. We drove to the house and the first important thing I learned was that we had a hammock. First order of business, to take a nap in the hammock. Once unpacked I just wanted to chill. I went for a walk and watched the sunset. Very romantic, all by myself. From here all the days all seem to run together…I got to be an uninvited guest to a wedding. Yup, right next to where we had our beach towels up. Cool idea, few problems in the applications but nice in the end. [Note to all women reading this….if you are getting married at the beach, the theme is “Bare feet”. Do not force the wedding party to try and walk on the sand with shoes on, especially not flip flops, they cause sand to fly up, this is not elegant, classy, fun or any other word you would like to be used when describing your wedding.]

I got to read 2 full books and start 3 others. I got to sleep in the hammock for a full night listening to the sound of the waves. I got to call my mother from the beach. [During which I learned that my 18 year old brother, Hugh, graduates today with not only his high school diploma but also with his associates degree, he will receive a 75% state discount when he attends college, Hugh was accepted to BYU-Provo on a scholarship, and he will submit his mission papers later this month. Way to go Hugh, I am excited for you!] I got to get at least 3 separate sunburns. I learned SPF 15 does not work on my skin at all, SPF 30 works better but still not completely even when applied 3 times. There was swimming in a pool, swimming in the ocean, wave hopping with Violet from The Incredibles (I got to be Elastigirl , thank you very much) and playing Horse with Neigh, Neigh. Movie watching, sunrises and sunsets, walking by myself under the stars, all the things you want when on vacation.

I did a lot of thinking at the beach. There is something about listening to the waves… it is hypnotic you start noticing how big the ocean is, how small you are, how amazing our world is, how vast the universe is, which leads to what you want in life, what you have done with what you have been given, what you are missing, what to do about it. There was a lot of thinking. Steph says people are confused by me when I get into a thinking mood. They apparently don’t know how to read me, and therefore think I am mad or snotty. That is not my intent ever, I feel bad that this happens, but when I get inside my own brain sometimes I get lost. Anyway I apologize for any stand-offishness.

I look forward too..

There are many things I look forward to.

I look forward to the beach this weekend

I look forward to the comfort of a educational degree

I look forward to knowing my place in the scheme of things

I look forward to knowing the rules by which I should play

I look forward to seeing the excitement of my brothers next time I am

home for a visit

I look forward to X-men 3

I look forward to the next book I am going to read. I don't know what

it is yet but I am excited just thinking about it.

I look forward to getting rid of the "la grippe" (just for you Kate ;) )

What do you look forward to?

My Role in the Chaos

I spoke with my younger brother today. He got home from his mission last Thursday. He is ill. He has tried very hard to complete his mission but this is the second time he has had to come home, and this time it is for good. The first time was for surgery on his feet. This time it is due to ulcers. He has quite a few. Apparently he can’t keep any food down and he has horrible stomach pain. Add this to the terrible nightmares he has had for years (due to a family trauma when he was really little) and you come up with a young man who is always tired and in pain. This is not really conducive to a teaching spirit. So he came home for good.

Sad as that is that is, it’s not my reason for blogging tonight. One thing he said really struck me. He told me that he explained to another sister why he could talk to me. He said something to the effect that I understood him and would not judge him. Therefore he could always tell me what was going on and never be afraid that I would love him any less. I realize that I can and do play this role with many members of my family. I talk to most of them often, as a matter of fact, in the last week; I have spoken with a sister-in-law, 2 sisters, 4 brothers, my grandmother, my mother, and both of my dads. 11 people with at least 30 minutes if not more than an hour for each conversation. That is just 5 days. Can you imagine how much I talk to in a month? I usually talk to every person in my family every month (excluding nieces). Some of them I talk to more then once. And now you know why I have so many minutes and unlimited text messages.

This is the role that I am meant to play. A long time ago there was a blessing given that stated I needed to help hold my family together. I was to be the glue. I have had a very difficult time reconciling living in another state and “being the glue” for my family. But I realized today that I do not always have to be in the same house or even the same state for every member of my family to know that they are an important part. I am still pondering moving home. It is not something I want to do, the cycle that it leads to can be very detrimental to me. BUT…….this is part of who I am and who I will always be. Not every one will understand if I choose to move home. My family plays a significant role in my life; I doubt there will ever be a time when they don’t. It’s not something I can explain except to say that there are some things that you can’t understand unless you live through them, and we have lived through them together. The chaos, drama, and madness can be in an odd way comforting to me. There is no world without them, maybe it’s because there are enough of them to populate the world. But maybe, just maybe, it’s because they have always been my world and with out them, I am a little lost.

Some of the choas:


And more:


Plus:


Oh and the newest last month:


Plus 2 more adults I don't even have a photo of! When I said chaos, I really meant it. ;)

"Blossoming"

I had an interesting conversation with my step-father Kent yesterday. I had called home to talk to my mother for Mother’s Day only to find that she was still at church. So I talked to my dad for quite awhile. My parents divorced when I was 11 and Mom and Kent remarried shortly there after. He is the father who was in charge of my rebellious teenage years. He is the father who would give the monthly interviews to make sure I was on track spiritually, emotionally, and socially. I won’t say he is perfect but he is one of the men I am most grateful for in my life. We talked of various things. For the first time in over a year I had one of our old interviews. I was able to ask a few pertinent questions myself. But what struck me the most was a comment he made partially in jest. He asked me if I was done blossoming out here in DC so that I could come home, because he could use the help.

I know this was not done to guilt trip me in any way. He could use the help; my family has always been a chaotic mess, and this was his way of letting me know that he would welcome any help I could offer. I have been in the role before; therefore he was slightly teasing me about it. But there was an underlying current of seriousness. My heart aches at the struggles I know exist with in my family. I know that part of who I am needs to assist in the handling of these struggles. To do that I would have to move home, I have thought about it ever since. I sat home and brooded about it last night. I don’t want to move home. I like living out here, but I miss my family. I miss the comfort of the familiar. I miss my boys. But I came out here for a purpose. Have I attained that purpose? Have I finished? Have I done what I was supposed to do? Have I grown in the ways I needed to? Am I that different then when I left home? In some ways I am. In others I haven’t changed at all. But family is the most important thing in this life. Do I go home to help? Or do I continue to “blossom”? I hate decisions.

Rainy Thursday

Yesterday it rained. It was gray and gross and everyone was whining. But I loved it. I love the seasons. I love when they change, but when it rains something happens to the air. I think I would love t0 live in the rain forest someday. It was sprinkling off and on all day but no real heavy showers. I got home and was sitting in my bay window when the real storm came. The sky opened up and it came down in buckets. Huge drops soaking into the ground. I couldn’t help it; I went outside and just stood in it. Letting the rain soak into my hair and run down my face. I tilted my head back and let the rain wash away all the stress of the past week. I looked around and realized that the puddles in the area were going to be amazing. Already I could see one or two that were begging to be jumped in. But I couldn’t do it by myself. I was too self-conscious of who could be watching the crazy woman playing in the rain all by herself. I immediately wished for my boys to come and play. But they are too old and too far away now for such simple joys as puddle jumping. As I stood in the rain yesterday, I remembered rains of the past. Paul and James and I out in the street in Utah, the amazement that would sweep over their face as they would splash through the puddles that came half way up their calves. Later it was Lukas and I in the parking lot of the Church down the street. The joys of us splashing and playing until we were soaked. These play times were always followed with a bath or shower (depending on the age of those playing) and warm clothes. I miss my boys. Not that it would be the same, even if they had been here. They have grown up now. The little boys that I used to spend hours with, making red and green popcorn, playing hide and seek, running around playgrounds, no longer exist. Lukas is 9, James is 13, and Paul is 14. They are too old to do silly things like that. But I miss the moments.

Moments of Contemplation

Someone recently asked me “where I was”. I made a joke of it due to the fact that I am not sure. I am in a place where I think a lot. Life is full of moments of contemplation. I look forward to the beach trip in a couple of weeks. I think I might take a day and just sit on the beach all by myself. I haven’t sat and listened to the waves for awhile.

For now the highlights of the last 3 weeks:

Arizona was good.
I had a great talk with my father and Patty, it will be a moment to remember
I got to meet more cousins I did not know I had
It was nice to see my sisters
Dad and Patty asked me to move to Arizona, again

Kate took me to a library last Thursday
Hello my name is Rachel Gifford. I am a bookaholic
I spent an hour soaking up the peace and then checked out 11 books
I have read 6 of them

The weekend with Cam was good.
You can learn a lot about yourself in less then a week.
I found the bookshop for the Lincoln, Vietnam, and Korean War memorials,
which means….
….I got 3 new books. The joy at that was almost overwhelming

Rent was great, even if Roger couldn’t sing.
I am not really as liberal as I think sometimes
I love sitting in a dark theater with music surrounding me.

Life is full of moments that cause contemplation