Memories........

I have a lot of time to think these days. It is almost as if I am watching my life as a movie:

The pale solitary figure staring out the windows of the train or bus; watching the dark streets pass with the occasional house decked out in Christmas lights. The young woman is given a wide berth by the strangers that surround her; not because she is ill or dangerous, but because she is different and aloof. Her reticence is sometimes taken as snobbishness, but in reality is nothing more then an innate shyness. The girl covers her discomfort by wearing headphones and holding a book in her lap. The strangers steal glances from the corners of their eyes; rarely looking at her directly and seeming a little flustered if she turns her gaze on them. What do they see in her eyes?

The time is usually used to think on the things I want to blog about. Unfortunately, I rarely have my computer on at that time therefore thoughts are never given substance. My thoughts are currently centered firmly in the past. It started with the re-emergence or Mr. Anonymous followed so closely by the Hinkson clan’s family reunion, Thanksgiving and now Christmas. How can you not think of the past when thinking about the holidays? There are traditions and memories that will never fade with time. Of course, my memory is fuzzy about so many of the little details that I need others to help me remember them. I want to remember them and so here are snippets of my past that I can’t seem to forget:

• My daddy picking me up from school (he was hiding the fact that my friends were gathering for a surprise party at my house)
• Courtney
• Sitting on the stairs listening to my mother cry, the sense of dread that filled me as my small world was filled with death for the first time
• Crying as we sat in the Airport in Riyadh
• Gathering in the tiny apartment in Ohio with Grandma and Grandpa Hinkson for that first Hinkson family meeting
• Staying with Aunt Jo in her apartment, foot rubs, needles, and spaghetti with sugar in it.
• Derek Pino…..Lol! Enough said
• The dreadful drive from Sundance to the Bishops house after the horrible scene in the parking lot….the fear and worry……
• Spaghetti and Hot dogs...Sorry Patty…..that is a memory that won’t ever fade  Lol!
• Chicken and Jo-Jos at Grandma and Grandpa Galloway’s house
• Pulling curtain for my first show…'How to Succeed in Business'
• Drew and I talking in the backyard
• Waking up one morning to find that Adam had written something in the snow outside my window
• That same Adam getting in an accident and calling me; which was followed by my mother relaxing the rules so that I could talk to him [I was grounded, yet again, but Mom always liked that Shelley boy :)]
• Dances….. Tiana and I talked about these last night. Lol!
• Apples and Caramel at the counter in the Thorne’s kitchen
• Curled up on the floor of my closet reading
• Days Inn
• Nights with Shelley and the rest of the gang at Sears…learning to play Canasta, read Ranma ½, and getting to meet so many people; the good and the bad
• Sarah putting me in a headlock
• Meg at my kitchen table in tears
• Mornings in the MTC Kitchen
• 9/11 at the MTC and then later at the office where 2 of our guys were lost in NYC
• Mama Bert in La Puenta……….
  

The list goes on and on. The present becomes the past and the future becomes the present. Some memories gratefully will never fade. Some, I continually pray will fade as time passes and some I scramble to get into writing so that as they are already fading I will have them to read about and try to remember.

My current mood could be caused by my current obsession with Colbie Caillat. For some reason I seem to be in the mood for listening to her CD in repeat.....Lol! Enjoy: