Independence…

I have always thought myself to be a fairly independent person. I pride myself on being able to get around on my own and not have to lean on many people. I hate to be a bother. If people want to help then they can offer, otherwise, I know that they have busy lives and I don’t take offense at them not wanting to assist. While talking with Kate this weekend, I commented on how some of my friends and my boss, worry about me when I move. I asked why this was as I have always been able to take care of myself. Kate’s response was to laugh and say “Aug 2006”.

For those that don’t know, that was a bad month for me. Between headaches, fatigue, and dizzy spells, I don’t remember a lot. Kate reminded me of at least one incident where a roommate had to help me up off of the floor of the bathroom…though I am not sure why I was on the floor in the first place. Lol! That is a bad sign. Now that is a thing of the past. While I still get tired, it is nothing like it was that year, thank heavens. Kate and I had a good chuckle over the memories and that was the end of the conversation.

Over the last 3 days, I keep coming back to that conversation. I have come to the realization that while I THINK I am completely independent that is far from the truth. In my last blog, I mentioned that I got lost while trying to find my home. Not once or twice but 3 times! Well this morning I did it again. Trying to get to work I missed a turn somewhere and ended up driving all over DC. I hate to be lost so I first called Gina and she helped me, only to have me take the wrong entrance to get on the freeway. Afterwards there was a lengthy call to Steph, who struggled to figure out where I was while she was in Dallas, TX. Finally it was figured out and I was on my way…the long way around the beltway. So add getting lost and the long way around the beltway to my morning commute and you have added an extra hour to that commute. Lol! All I could think when I dropped off the rental car was: Please, just leave me to my metro. I am comfortable there, and oh so happy!

So how does all of this go together….Well, it is unsettling to find that I am not as independent as I want to be. Whether I am ill or just trying to find my way around, I can’t do it all on my own. Or should I say, I can’t do it all on my own YET! I’ll get there. Just you wait.