I can't seem to figure out what is wrong with me. I am flying happy one minute and not the next. I would say I was in love but I know that is not the problem. There is nothing to be depressed about really. So what could it be?

Part could be self inflicted guilt. It comes unconciously at the oddest moments. I usually have to sit and think when it hits. That way at least I know what I am feeling guilty about this time. It is a trait that had been firmly engrained from childhood. If life was remotely uncomfortable then I must find the reason it was my fault. Add to that an empathetic nature and you have me. Some one who gets upset by the smallest things and feels the weight of fixing things because "she should be able to fix it".

Maybe that is the reason for my present funk. I hate when people are upset even slightly. Worse when logically there is nothing I can do about it. Because logic and my heart seldom see eye to eye. My heart wants everyone to be happy, my mind knows that is impossible. Too of my good friends are currently dealing with painful and frustrating "boy situations". This is not something I can fix. Mostly because I would have no clue where to start. But secondly becuse boys have free agency too. As much as we want the fairy tale the boy involved has to want a part of that.

Oh well I know how to fix it. Throw mysel into some sort of service and forget myself. You cannot last in a funk for too long if you are serving others. At least that is the way it has always worked in my world.

.........I just hope it works this time too..........