Thoughts......

So.....I took the day off work. I couldn't focus this morning. My mind jumps from one topic to the next and back again. Apparently I am not taking the news about Aly as well as I thought I was. It doesn't seem real. And I really barely knew her. We had been friends for just a short time. I could find other reasons to explain this melancholy. I could say it is just that I have allowed it to build up and this rock broke the dam. That happens to me. I don't get emotional about anything and then all of a sudden it comes in a flood. Steph went through the last one with me and I didn't think she needed me to break on her again. (I know you read that Steph and went "That is never a problem" said in the most indignant tone possible. Let it go. You have other things on your mind.) Plus this way I break and no one watches. It is uncomfortable to all of a sudden tear up, for no apparent reason, and have people look at you with pity in their eyes. I hate that. Especially because I hate being the person who has sympathy and knows there is nothing I can do. And really there is nothing any one can do. I can't fix this for anyone else. I can't even seem to fix it for myself.