The New Year!

This New Year is starting out fabulous. Yesterday, though it started out with me not feeling well, was pretty great. It is always nice to learn that someone thinks you are attractive. And that he has thought that I was attractive for a while. What better way to start off a new year than to feel attractive. Lol! And then today was a girl’s day. (Darn boy had other plans. Grr) I had so much fun today. There was lots of laughter, lots of talking, lots of food, and lots of just over all fun. My Brother and his wife had their first baby today. 7 lbs 10 ozs. 19 inches. No Name as of yet!! How exciting is that.
My roommates have started to return. I am realizing how much I like them. I miss them when they are not here. KT was here when I returned so we have had fun already. K returned last night and so we got to talk today. C returned tonight and we had fun chatting. H returns tomorrow and I can’t wait to hear how things went with the boy back home. CN doesn’t return for a couple of weeks and then we will have to have some sort of celebration. There are many celebrations this year. January 12th makes it 1 year here in DC. January 16th makes it one year of knowing S, A, and G. So we are partying through out the month. Throw in a performance of Les Mes with A and a church ski trip………..ohhhhh wait………and a date to the National Symphony. This looks like a fabulous month for me!! I am going to be a happy girl. Lol!

January 2nd, 2006

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Change?

A couple of days ago I blogged about change. I blogged, in essence, wondering if we were sinning by not trying to challenge ourselves to be better constantly. Today the thought has returned in a different view. More to the effect of, maybe it is not possible not to change. As they say in my church, if you are not moving forward you are sliding back. I know the world in constantly changing and that those in it are doing the same. Nothing stays the same forever, not even people. So how do I want to change? I have been trying to figure out what my resolutions should be for this New Year. I still do not know. What goals do I want for the next 365 days? I want to go to Europe; but is that a worthy goal. Does that better me? Or is that just a selfish wish to go and play somewhere? I want to continue to lose weight, but I know that it is not something I will actively work on. So I can’t really count that one. What else do I want? I want to get on track spiritually. I am not where I was a year ago in that area; but how to regain the spirituality with out losing the traits I have gained over the last year. I will go into more detail about that another day; I think that deserves its own blog. Someone remind me to write about that. Lol!
Last years goals were huge. I wanted to let my family stand on its own 2 feet. I wanted to start my own life. I wanted to lose weight. I wanted to become more confident. I wanted to be outgoing and make new friends. Essentially, I wanted to learn who I was and what I could accomplish. And boy did I succeed. With out even trying I lost 30 pounds. I moved across the country last January, I got a new job, got a second job, lost the second and found my niche back at the first company. I learned what things were important to me. I learned that I do have an opinion about things other than diapers, homework assignments, bedtimes, and cartoons. I learned that I can voice these opinions (well sort of). I learned that I can take care of myself. But even more importantly, I learned that there are those I can go to when I am not strong enough to stand on my own. And THAT IT IS OKAY. As much as I want to be independent and take care of myself, I learned that I am not superwoman. And I don’t have to be. I learned that I have a deep need for approval from others. I need others to tell me that I am okay. Which I am trying to overcome, but until I get there, I learned that my friends will be there to bolster my flagging self esteem. I learned that I can choose good friends on my own. I also learned that my instincts aren’t the best; I tend to look for the best in others. This is good and bad. But I am looking at it positively, because all of God’s children need to have someone tell them they are good enough. Unfortunately I also learned that without work, I let my religious side go. But, as I mentioned, that is for another time. I have spent the last 365 days learning who I am and how I react to things. This has brought me the confidence I desired. I feel I have exceeded my expectations of last year’s resolutions. This is why I feel such pressure about this year’s resolutions. I feel they need to be something big, something awe inspiring. I think my awe inspiring goal will be to get my temple recommend renewed. That is a big deal. At least it is for me. And what about my selfish goal? I want to go to Europe.

There you have it. My New Year’s Resolutions for 2006:

Return to the Temple
Go to Europe.
Continue with last year’s resolution to loose weight by walking.

Wonder how long they will last? Any one want to place bets? Lol!

Rae